One More Spoon of Cough Syrup

That song has really inspired me this week because the song is about losing hope but figuring out a way to cope with it. And sometimes those ways are not always healthy because of the pressures of society, but at least it's a way. Cough syrup is better than crack cocaine or methamphetamines. It kind of reminds me of this one time, I was going dancing with my friend Anna at this club in Maplewood called Myth and on the way there, she told me to stop at a Walgreen's to get chaser for our vodka, well she actually stole like 4 packets of Cold Medicine (Robbotessen I think) just to get a "robo trip" as she called it. Well I was upset because I didn't know she was stealing it until we got back to the car, and I really didn't want to get in trouble. I begged her in the car not to take too many of them and I think she settled on a packet or two. We picked up one of her deadbeat friends that did some with her. Then we went to the club and went dancing, weird thing is I was the crazy one. We met two guys at the club (I got the cute one) and I ended up going home with him and she went home with her friend. I fucked him on his boat in the middle of the water on some lake. It was crazy, wild and fun. I thought I was the shit. Anna's drug addiction never suficed. In fact, right before my college graduation a couple years ago, she overdosed. She was 20 years old. She was my best friend, my creative outlet and one hell of an artist. She was the kind of girl who would go to a Chinese restaurant and order a bowl of white rice and soy sauce. She really enjoyed the simple things in life. Our best moments were chilling at her house watching movies, stealing the ranchy videos out of my dads car, and playing stripper Barbies. It's hard to believe that two years later, I am still suffering. I find it hard to have normal relationships at all. My dating life has gone for shaky to non-existent. I recently met a guy, Ray, who turned out to be a complete asshole because he's insecure. He knows hes not as smart as me, as talented and he's a little insecure of his race, he's part Mexican. I really liked him but I told him I was done playing my games. He would make plans with me, tell me to call him when I'm done doing whatever I was doing and when I did, he would never answer. I tried to make it work for weeks until I realized a relationship should not be one sided. Truth is, I'm a very literary and intellectual person, I need someone who is intellectually stimulating. I actually really enjoyed college because I love learning. There is never enough that you can learn about a person or thing, that's why I try to be nice to everyone, though it's not always the case. I guess what I am trying to say is that I like to keep an open mind, a mind that one day things will be better, that one day I will find love and that one day I will FINALLY be able to write the long-awaited novel I've been dreaming of. I like to think I can speak for most women when I say we need to stick together so we can beat the assholes at their own damn game! We need to do what turns US on and worry about OUR needs first. That Hollywood should stop GLAMORIZING teen pregnancy because it's not a good thing, it robs children of their youth. I grew up too fast but I'm not proud of it. I just want someone who is caring, smart and pays their own bills. Is that too much to ask? One more thing since when is the fad: Mooch off your mama a reality? Too many guys are living off their mom, I met one the other day that was 43 years old! That's insane! Not only is she allowing him to not take responsibility for his life but she is celebrating it by cooking him dinner every night and doing his laundry every week. It's no wonder there are so many loser guys out there. And honestly, guys, why are you so fucking insecure? It's like man up and ask us out. Man up and tell us we turn you on.